For those of you that have already let me know that you will be joining me in this journey I just want to tell you how grateful I am that you are willing to walk with me through the word of God. I have no idea where God is leading me with this so, like you all, I am just along for the ride.
I have lived my life as a Christian for as long as I can remember. I was raised going to church and going to Sunday school with my mom and dad. I memorized my verses each week (fat lot of good that did, can’t really remember them now) and I know the typical Bible stories but, I hate to even admit it, beyond a few verses here and there and some of the typical stories, I have never really read my Bible. Oh sure I know where to find certain things when I need to. I have a general idea of who did what. I know where my favorite verses are but I have never actually studied it. I know the general principals and I know the difference between right and wrong and I know that Jesus is my savior and He is the King of all kings. I know that I am a "good person."
Lately I have just felt so drawn to my Bible, I have found myself reaching out to get more from it. I have really felt the pull of God’s hands on my heart, leading me to His word. Last week I was on Spring Break and I had left the house to go run some errands. I can’t even remember why, but I wrote on my list of places I needed to go “Christian book store.” Now, it is less than a week later and I cannot even tell you what it was I was going there to try to find. I just remember putting it on my list of places I needed to go right in between Best Buy to get printer ink and Target to get Fudge Filled Banana cereal bars. I remember that because you see on my list next to Best Buy I wrote “printer ink” and next to Target I wrote “Fudge filled banana cereal bars” I had my entire grocery and errand list all organized out and exactly what I was going to buy at each place... except “Christian book store.” I didn’t know what I was going to find there and to be totally honest I thought about crossing it off the list a few times because obviously there was nothing there I NEEDED and I had no real clue why I had even written it down. As I left Best Buy with my ink, I got in my car and looked at the Christian book store across the parking lot and thought to myself – “nahh I’ll just go on and finish my shopping, if I go in there I’ll end up wasting money something I don’t need or won’t even use.” I pulled out of the parking space and found myself pondering it again and thought maybe I should just go in and look around but not buy anything. That way I could at least tell myself I looked. Anyway, I ended up parking again and heading into the store, still having no idea what I was looking for or why I was even in there. I found myself looking at the Life Application Bibles and I loved how at the bottom of each page it spelled out basically how the verses and passages could apply to our lives today. Now I didn’t NEED a new Bible, I had a few at home sitting on shelves with their pretty covers all covered in dust. I have a devotional Bible, read-it-in-a-year Bible, and your typical every day NIV Bible all with a fine layer of dust. So I found myself doubting that I needed yet another Bible, especially when I saw the price. I kept thinking, “I can’t spend this much money on a Bible, I already have perfectly good ones at home” I would put the Bible back on the shelf and walk away, inevitably I would find myself back in front of the same shelf of Life Application Bibles. I kept telling myself that I really wanted and needed this Bible and then I would tell myself how it was a huge waste of money to spend on something when I already have 3 similar things at home. I had this argument within myself for several minutes. I found myself walking around the store carrying the Bible with me. I kept thinking “Just put it down and walk out, you don’t need to waste money on this stuff.” When I found myself in the checkout line to buy this expensive -putting me over my budget- Bible I whispered “God if I spend this money on this Bible You are going to have to help me figure out a way to get it back” and I swear I could hear that little God voice in the back of my head and it said “No worries, I got you” so I bought the Bible. I finished out my errands for the day and went home to total receipts and pay bills. Two of the credit card bills I thought I had to pay before our next payday ended up not being due yet, total amount for those two bills that were not due, almost the exact same amount as my Bible purchase. God was right, He totally had my back.
I thought about my trip to the Christian book store a lot and realized that while I seemed to be arguing with myself I wasn’t, it was Satan who was trying to convince me not to go in there, it was Satan who was telling me I didn’t need to “waste” my money on that “stuff.” Satan wanted me to just walk out and think, “I’ll just use the Bible(s) I have at home” knowing full well I would'nt have even taken them off the shelf and dusted them off and if I HAD they wouldn’t have met my need for digging deeper. Satan wants us to stay at the surface, he wants us to only know a little bit, he has no problem with us simply being a “good person” because then he still has a little foothold in our mind, he can still use our own doubts and insecurities and worries to his advantage. Of course he would prefer that we never pick up the Bible but when we read it or learn a few verses or a few Bible stories and we don’t dig deeper, we just stay at the surface of the Bible he’s ok with that too because then he knows that probably means we are only just at the surface level with our relationship with God and Jesus. He knows that he can still get in there and make us wonder if God really does care and if God really does have our backs. He also knows that when we have a deep understanding of God’s word and a deep relationship with Jesus, he doesn’t stand a chance against the power of our living God.
Buying that Bible is what has led to this blog and to the upcoming Bible study which I hope is going to touch many of you, which is probably why Satan was working so hard to talk me out of it. God has a plan for me and my new Bible, I don’t know what it is but it must be something big for Satan to be so concerned about. I can’t wait to see where God is going to lead us all on this journey.
Father God, I thank you so much for leading us all together to begin studying Your word and Your love. I pray Lord that You guide us through this Bible study and that You give us all exactly what we need to be women of Christ who have a confident heart that is filled with your love and a desire to seek You and serve You. I thank you Lord for every one of the people who come to this blog and who join in this study and I ask that You bless each and every one of us as we begin this journey to grow deeper in love with You.
In Jesus Holy name, Amen