Going Through the Motions

‘Cause just okay, is not enough… ‘Cause I don’t wanna go through the motions, I don’t wanna go one more day, without Your all consuming passion inside of me”

From “The Motions” by Matthew West

                Ok let me preface this post by saying that I absolutely LOVE music. I love listening to several different types of music but I especially love the messages that I sometimes get from listening to contemporary Christian music.

As I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to our local Christian music station and using some of my new found praying skills. I was praising God; I was thanking Him for everything he has done for me, especially lately, I thanked Him for putting this new desire into my heart to get closer to Him and to more fully understand His word, and I was asking Him, if it is His will, to help my son pass the test that he has this Saturday.

During this conversation with God, I started thinking about this blog and I started thanking Him for putting it in my heart to start this because I love writing and I love telling stories about how God has touched my life in some way and I am so thankful that God has shown me a way to do something I love. If I wasn’t a teacher and I could get paid to do something else I love, I would be a writer. Anyway, I told Him that the excitement I have about this blog and my upcoming Bible study reminded me of the excitement I felt when I decided to become a teacher. I laughed at myself and thought yeah only the decision to become a teacher was a life changing decision, the decision to start a blog and a Bible study, not so much. As I was laughing at myself I heard that little voice in the back of my head and it said “Not so fast there, are you saying that re-learning to follow God and having a deeper relationship with Him is not a life changing decision?” Ummm, gotta say I didn’t really think about it like that. I was just thinking about it on the surface level, just on the  “I’m just starting a blog and Bible study” level, not what I was going to get out of it , and even more so what I might be able to give to others through these two endeavors.

Right about that time “The Motions” by Matthew West came on the radio. I’ve heard it before, I know the words, I’ve sang along, but today I really heard the words. “I don’t want to spend my whole life asking what if I had given everything instead of going through the motions. No regrets, not this time, I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind, let Your love make me whole, I think I’m finally feeling something. ‘Cause just okay, is not enough, help me fight through the nothingness of life, ‘Cause I don’t wanna go through the motions, I don’t wanna go one more day, without Your all consuming passion inside of me. Take me all the way” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHmiFaX_pk)

As I listened to this song and sang along, tears began to roll down my cheeks because I realized that up until my trip to the Christian book store during Spring Break I had simply been going through the motions of being a Christian and to be completely honest I really wasn’t even doing a very good job of going through the motions. I rarely went to church, it’s amazing how easy it is to come up with excuses for why we can’t go; I would pray pretty much every day but it was usually for things I wanted to happen (or didn’t want to happen) or things I thought I needed, never to just thank God for what He has given me or done for me already. I would pray for friends who were going through tough times but I never really knew what to say so I would usually just say the same thing“ God be with them, you know what they need so please be with them as they go through this tough time” To be honest, I don’t really know how to pray for someone else but I am sure that along this journey God will teach me how to do that too.

I am tired of just going through the motions; I want it to mean something. I want to feel the Holy Spirit in me and working through me. I want people to see me as a woman of God, as someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus. Not someone who is going through the motions of religion or going through the motions of being a Christian. I want it to be evident that my heart is filled with the love of Jesus. I want my words and my actions to be for Him. Anyone can just go through the motions, but I want it to be more than that, I want to give it my all. So like the song says “Take me all way”  - God take me all the way to wherever it is You want me to be. I know it’s not going to be easy and it will certainly be even more life changing that the decision to become a teacher but it’s so going to be worth it in the end.